When you are mistreated, ignored, laughed/ joked at, or excluded from a group or even to the extreme being bullied or insulted, did your parents advice you to ignore and walk away?

You may find people trying to gain power over you, it could be your friends, colleagues, relatives or anyone.

When you ignore and walk away and don’t stand up for yourself, it gives the other person the power and permission to ill treat you again and that could become a pattern then.

Also, when you freeze or do not respond in such situations, your mind starts believing what others feed your mind with. That is very dangerous and external world has a control over your thoughts and can manipulate your self confidence.

Well it is good to act with respect, kindness and be well mannered, but when others try to gain power over you, it is time to be ASSERTIVE for sure.

By being assertive, you are not mean. You are standing up for yourself!

Assertiveness is necessity for teens years and Adulthood too.

Nothing changes automatically!

You have to stand up for yourself and Assert yourself!

You need to defend yourself emotionally.

Be assertive not aggressive.

Advocate for yourself

Be firm, not shy to defend yourself

You can use following strategies and techniques to assert yourself.

Please remember, that these techniques should be used, where you are managing power situations which are relatively easy and ‘safe’

For situations which could be out of ‘safe’ context and you feel threatened that someone could hurt you, please do not hesitate to involve teachers, parents, police, managers or counselors immediately.

But being Assertive is out of my comfort zone?

#What stops you from being assertive?Change it by
How do I defend myself– First, to know your own feelings, you need to be tuned into your experience and not dismissing your feelings
– Remember your thoughts and feelings are sacred and it is worth defending them
Often people worry that being assertive could come across as meanNo, be assertive, be firm not aggressive, nor passive.
Being Assertive is being part of your most confident self.
If you get angry, it is a good thing, it will trigger you to take action.
Besides if you don’t defend yourself, who will?
You are the best person to know your thoughts and feelings. Give your thoughts a voice.
It is funny how people who ill-treat you or bully you never worries about it.
Remind yourself you have the right and deserve to be treated appropriately, it will help increase your self-esteem/self-worth
Important to teach kids:If you teach our kid to ignore and do nothing, it will will not teach them the value of sticking up for themselves. You have to inculcate self worth in kids from a young age, so they feel they deserve being treated with respect.
When someone tries to bully or insult youThe sooner you challenge them, the better it is so they don’t get power over you.
Challenging a person who tries to gain power over you could be either by:
– not taking them seriously
– Cross question them, why they are not doing what they are ordering you to do
– Do unto others as you expect them to do/ Tit for tat (some people understand the same language as they show by ill-treating others). It can be a temporary solution.
– Do not take the other person seriously, make their remarks meaningless, by challenging and asserting your feeling
– Assert your feelings and mention they are are throwing authority at you, which makes you feel hurt/bad
– Be firm and maintain eye contact
– make a sarcastic comment

Assertive replies and ideas:

#Phrase/ Idea
I cannot fix her/him, they are beyond repair
Yes, I am arrogant, but it is arrogance of clarity, which you may not like… cause I can clearly see how mean you have been to me
We really had a good time together. But, I am shocked to see you who you have become and what you value now
Stop talking to me and stop taking my things
Hey, do not talk to me like that!
Sorry, Who do you think you are, talking to me like that?’
(this shows you don’t take insults/put-downs from others)

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